I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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