That's intense
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize