wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
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I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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