Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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