garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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