I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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