You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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