i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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