I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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