My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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