Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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