oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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