I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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