I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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