so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize