even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
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You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
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Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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