All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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