Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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