ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
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How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
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Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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