Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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