my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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