There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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