i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
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