I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
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