i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is Oprah even human
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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