I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize