so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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