Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
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All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
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Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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