is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize