I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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