Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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