i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
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We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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