Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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