Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I currently don't understand fingers.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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