lets start a swedish sibling band together
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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