Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
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What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
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That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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