Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize