Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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