but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
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there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
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Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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