okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I am mentally ready for anal.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize