Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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