The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize