Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
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i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
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That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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