so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
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Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
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That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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