Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Let's get the cat blown out
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize