highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My liver just had a heart attack.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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