you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
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to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
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I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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