I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize