On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize