I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize